Fake Friends, User Types Are Only In It for the Hype | Fortify the City
Podcast Episode
This episode explores fake friendships, surface-level relationships, and the importance of discernment when identifying who is truly supportive—and who is only around for convenience or hype.
Some people are loyal to you. Others are loyal to what benefits them about you.
The Difference Between Real and Surface-Level Relationships
In any relationship, one of the clearest indicators of its strength is consistency.
Showing up.
Supporting one another.
Listening.
Being present beyond convenience.
Because real relationships require effort.
They require intentionality, honesty, patience, and reciprocity. They are built over time—not just through exciting moments, but through consistency when there is nothing to gain.
But not everyone is built for that kind of connection.
In this episode of Fortify the City, the focus shifts toward the reality of fake friendships, user relationships, and the importance of discernment when it comes to the people you allow close to you.
Because everyone around you is not necessarily connected to you for the right reasons.
Some People Are Attached to the Hype
One of the hardest truths people eventually learn is that some relationships are built entirely around benefit.
As long as things are exciting, progressing, visible, or advantageous, certain people remain close.
But the moment the hype fades, their presence often fades with it.
And that reveals something important:
Some people were never connected to you personally. They were connected to what came with you.
Your influence.
Your opportunities.
Your visibility.
Your access.
Your energy.
And once those things shift, the relationship begins to change too.
Convenience Is Not Loyalty
There is a major difference between convenience and loyalty.
Convenience stays when things are easy.
Loyalty remains when things become difficult.
That distinction matters because many people confuse proximity with genuine support.
Just because someone is around does not mean they are truly invested in your well-being.
And often, true character is revealed when circumstances change.
When there is less to gain.
Less visibility.
Less excitement.
Less access.
That is when motives become clearer.
Discernment Matters
Not every smiling face carries genuine intentions.
That reality is uncomfortable, but necessary to acknowledge.
Because discernment is not paranoia—it is wisdom.
It is the ability to recognize patterns, energy, motives, and inconsistency without becoming consumed by suspicion.
And in relationships, discernment protects peace.
It helps identify who truly values you versus who simply values what they can receive from you.
Because some people are committed to access, not connection.
Relationships Should Be Mutual
Healthy relationships are not one-sided.
There should be mutual care.
Mutual support.
Mutual investment.
Not one person constantly giving while the other only receives.
And unfortunately, many people remain in draining relationships because they confuse history with loyalty.
But time alone does not make a relationship healthy.
Length of connection does not automatically equal sincerity.
Sometimes people stay around for years while still operating from selfish motives internally.
And eventually, that imbalance becomes exhausting.
The Emotional Cost of User Relationships
User relationships often leave people feeling depleted.
Not because the connection was genuine and simply ended—but because the relationship was transactional from the beginning.
That realization can be painful.
Especially when effort, loyalty, and sincerity were real on one side.
But awareness matters.
Because once patterns become visible, people gain the opportunity to stop overextending themselves to individuals who were never truly invested.
The Importance of Boundaries
Part of maturity is learning that access should not be given freely to everyone.
Not everyone deserves full access to your energy, your emotions, your time, or your personal space.
Boundaries are necessary.
Not to isolate yourself from people—but to protect what God has entrusted to you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Because some people enter spaces only to consume, drain, or benefit without ever contributing anything healthy in return.
And without boundaries, those relationships can become destructive over time.
Genuine Relationships Still Exist
While this conversation highlights fake friendships and user behavior, it is important to remember that genuine relationships do exist.
Real support exists.
Real loyalty exists.
Real community exists.
There are people who will support you privately—not just publicly. People who value your well-being beyond what you can offer them.
And those relationships are worth protecting.
Because authentic connection is rare in a culture that often prioritizes convenience over commitment.
Pay Attention to Patterns
One of the clearest ways to discern relationships is through patterns.
Who only appears when they need something?
Who disappears during difficult seasons?
Who supports quietly without needing recognition?
Who only values you when others are watching?
Patterns reveal motives over time.
And paying attention to those patterns helps people move with greater wisdom rather than emotional assumption.
Final Thought
Not everyone walking beside you is walking with you for the same reason.
Some people are assigned to support.
Some are assigned to grow with you.
And some are only attached to the moment, the hype, or the benefit.
That is why discernment matters.
Because genuine relationships withstand more than visibility, convenience, or excitement.
They withstand difficulty.
Change.
Growth.
Silence.
And time.
So pay attention to who remains when there is nothing left to gain.
That often tells you everything you need to know.
Highlights
- What defines a strong relationship
- The difference between real and fake friendships
- Recognizing “user” behavior
- Why some relationships don’t last
- The role of loyalty and consistency
- Discernment in who you keep around you
credits
Artwork design & logo by Dana Givens
Original music produced by SweatBeatz
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About Podcast
Fortify the City is a weekly empowerment podcast assessing intricate ideologies, fallacies, and pop culture topics through a bold Christian lens.
Hosted by Sadé Graham | The Cultural Activist, the mission is to bridge the gap between Christianity and the world—one hot topic at a time.